Oh Hey.

Dudes, my life has been bananas lately. My job is craaaazy, for a lot of different reasons. Tons of responsibility, somewhat unreasonable expectations and just the inherent stress that comes with acclimating to a new team, new ways of doing things, etc. It took a few months to get my footing, but I feel like I'm finally rockin it. Phew and hooray.

But a few things resulted while I was in that awkward figuring it out phase; some of them surprising, some of them not: 
  1. Because I was on unfamiliar terrain at work and um, terrified, I decided I was going to valedictorian the crap out of supermomming and everything had to be perfect at all times and WHY ARE YOU DOING IT THAT WAY PETE, WHICH IS CLEARLY WRONG WTF. Suffice it to say it got a little tense around our house. 
  2. I was pretty much an anxious mess all the time and felt like I had to be ON ON ON ON ON and working from 8-11 everynight. Insert exhaustion and feeling like I'm running in place, i.e. tons of effort and not a lot to show for it. Which brings me to... 
  3. I was having wine or chocolate pretty much every night. Mostly, I will admit, because of #1 and my unwillingness to budge even a little and after the kids went to bed I was so wound up I needed something to soothe me. Sigh. 
However. Once I realized these things and let go and stood back and let Pete step in, a little magic happened. I started to loosen up a bit and not have that scrunched up stress face thing going on 24/7. 

[The kids are also crazy. Espen is reaching the almost walking screechy phase, so that's fun. Lucia continues to be so challenging (sassing, combative about everything, etc.). It's a LOT. But letting Pete do more and getting out of his way has really helped with that too.]

To that end, some exciting (ha!) updates over here pertaining to fitness/health/wellness, in no particular order:
  • I am VERY behind on my LE workouts. I am starting over this week, which is hilarious because I forgot my gym bag today. I was all IMMA KILL IT TODAY, then realized my bag is at home. Dammit. I'm going to do a bodyweight workout instead tonight -- also serves as a release valve from the craziness of getting the kids to bed. 
  • However, this means I'm "behind schedule" on my LE Phase 1 and I'm trying to care, but also trying to be flexible and to remind myself that I made the rules around this LE redo, so I can certainly change the rules. 
  • I cancelled my WW account today. I haven't been following it lately, mostly because as I believe I mentioned, when I follow it to the T, I do not have enough energy for the LE workouts, which are way more important for my health and longevity than a number on the scale. The weeks that I followed WW and did the workouts I fell asleep sitting up in the middle of the day. Sure I could increase my brown rice servings or oatmeal, but as I've documented here ad nauseum, I feel better when I eat less carbs. So I don't really want to increase them to boost my calories; I'd rather work in some peanut butter and avocado, dudes. Because... 
  • The eating until you're 80% full rule is SO HARD. Try it! It's very, very hard. I started last week and have had a very difficult time doing it. It's mental jiujitsu, for sure. 
  • I'm off sugar and alcohol for the week. I am looking HAGGARD, you guys. OLD LADY haggard, and know that means I need to reduce my stress levels, clean up my diet and get more rest. So...
  • I'm going to bed early every night this week. Early = 10. Espen is off the nightcap nursies (yes!) so I can technically go to bed when the kids go to bed. The fact is, in terms of what benefits me and gives back, sleep investment is way better than jacking around on Facebook. 
Hi, I've aged 5 years since starting this job.
Have also started the unfortunate habit of nervously
twirling of my hair. Gah.