This and That

After a few weeks (cough cough MONTH) of taking some time off WW, I decided I need to reboot. I'm going to try to stick to the plan this whole week and see what happens. I've been traveling and eating out/enjoying life with friends (read: wine and desserts). I feel bloated and gross and want to get back to feeling good. 

Also, I had a little pep talk with myself today (Pete helped too) about going back to the gym. The challenge is 1. I am at beginner level and just need to get back into a routine 2. I have had trouble getting past my black and white thinking about it; if I can't go whole-hog, balls out and KICK. ASS. on a workout, then I don't want to bother. Blerg. 

So today I packed my gym bag and told myself I was just going to start. Stop agonizing over it and thinking about it, just start. So there's that. 

Unrelated (maybe?), I have had an *enormous* struggle adjusting to my new role as super PR chickadee and juggling it with my being a super mom and wife. Super, of course to me, means impossibly high standards that I really need to start letting go of. For instance, I'm standing in line to go through security before my flight out of Toronto and I can't make a decision about what to do with the 40-50 oz of breastmilk I have dutifully pumped and frozen during my 3-day trip. Should I check it? It's in a cooler bag that is super insulated? Or should I haul it in my carry on? Should I risk checking it? Just so I don't have to haul it? Is that OK to ask for that? 

Why is this such a struggle and why I cannot see the forest for the trees is beyond me. It's frustrating -- I'm annoying myself with this myopic perspective of ONE WAY to be supermom (even if that was attainable). How about supermom = pumping 5x a day for my kid? Or supermom is going to kick ass at her job to 1. provide for my family and 2. show my kid that I'm fulfilled and 3. show my kid that mommies kick ass. How about that? Why isn't that a good enough definition. 

My new job is AMAZING. That bears repeating. I am so freaking thrilled to be here. I just have got to get out of my own way and my own head.  My job is to kick ass at work. Period. The other stuff I'll have to let go of. Sigh.