Box Jumps and Pushing Through the Fear

I'm working on a big presentation for Tuesday and am RIDDLED with self-doubt over it. Man, I wish I could push through the fear like I do at the gym. I think about that often. Yesterday as I climbed the stairs in my new super lean gym attire, made for "serious runners," for a split second I thought, you don't belong here. You can't do this. Who do you think you are? And almost instinctively, I pushed it aside and said nope, I'm not going to listen to that. I'm going to proceed on, and get on the track and run my intervals at MY pace which may not be someone else's pace but is fully mine and represents where I am right now in this moment. And I ran those intervals. I shook off the fear and just started.

What would it be like if I pushed forward like that anytime professional self-doubt comes up? THIS is my challenge in 2014. To practice pushing through and JUST STARTING ANYWAY. It will get easier with practice I know. I remember when I started working out regularly, I routinely "forgot" one element of my workout clothes, i.e. a bra, shoes. What worked was doing the workout anyway, in socks or a regular bra. And just making it work and not giving into the self-doubt and sabotage. I have to admit, even now, each time I pack my gym bag there's that miniscule self-doubt that creeps in. I push through it though, every time and remind myself, this is easy: pants, shirt, bra, shoes.

I did box jumps a few weeks ago at the gym. Most people start with 12 inch box jumps, but that felt too advanced for me, so I started with an aerobic step, i.e. 4 inches. I was 90% sure I could do those, so it felt like a good place to start. I did a few, then stumbled and almost fell. Immediately I told myself, you can either let fear whip you up, or you can just jump again. JUMP AGAIN. And I did. And I didn't feed the fear.

And that's where I need to get with work. Start with the basics. Flesh it out. Tell more about that. Explain myself. Explain my approach because 99% of the time, I've thought it through really well and it has tons of merit. I just struggle to explain it and rest on that. Don't give into the self-sabotage. Don't give into the fear because then it just grows.

So today, I'm practicing that.