Two Kids = Freaking Brutal

HOW is it Monday already? I feel like I wrote the previous blog post yesterday.

What's new over here? Letseeeee. Espen is sleeping in 3-5 hour increments, with the 5-hour ones overnight (wooo hooo), but that's only happened like three times. Breastfeeding is going great, meaning no problems per se, it's just tough to be on call 24-7.

Lucia is acting up, uh, a lot. While she *loves* her brother, she loves Mommy's attention more. She waits until I've just started nursing to ask for things, as a test. I've tried to set aside special time for her every day and night to make sure she feels like she's getting enough attention from me. But that is also hard, because she wants ME, just me, not Pete, just me.

And so I'm feeling constantly conflicted and on call, which is tough when you're well-rested. Add in sleep deprivation and well, I feel like I'm constantly getting my ass kicked. Like, daily. The transition to two kids is freaking brutal. BRUTAL. I feel bad for neglecting friends and calls. I am just at capacity.

It's not all bad, so pardon me if I sound negative. Espen is absolutely adorable and he has touched my heart in a way that is so different than Lucia. I'm also LOVING the baby phase. He is so snuggly and cozy and I'm loving the closeness from breastfeeding with him. Really, really loving.

It's also great that Lucia isn't hitting or biting him, I guess. She just wants to emulate me, and I'm trying to be as authentic as I can for her, because I know that's what she needs more than anything, is to see Mommy be human, i.e. flawed, and not some superhuman achiever bee. We're trying to savor little moments and hunker down as a family and really do the things we like doing, not the things we feel a sense of obligation to do.

That's about it. I'll post a picture of my sticker chart towards the end of the week.

Comments

  1. Be kind and compassionate and forgiving to yourself. It will get better and you're doing great. It's a season of frustration. and joy. and madness. and hilarity. Roll with it as much as possible and be nice to yourself when want to beat yourself up.

    Everything is a phase. (This is my favorite paretenting mantra. For better or worse. It all changes. ALL of it.) It will get so much easier. I swear, Breastfeeding at the beginning takes FOR.EVER. I remember thinking UGH. can't wait till he's older and it's like 10 minutes both sides.)

    have I mentioned lately I'm SO glad you have a boy!? so awesome. Good luck. Hope you get a little break this weekend!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Katie. Always appreciate your wisdom and perspective, mama.

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  2. " We're trying to savor little moments and hunker down as a family and really do the things we like doing, not the things we feel a sense of obligation to do."

    this! so great! :)

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