Last Day

It's my last day of being pregnant, maybe forever? Which is so weird to think about. Prior to this uh, journey? God I hate that word. I always thought we'd have three kids. But something is feeling very complete and rounded about having one girl who is literally the light of our lives, and one very-soon-to-be boy. And I'm old. Not too old, I know, but I don't know if I want to do this again. Maybe. I'm definitely not closing any doors when it comes to birth control.

I digress. It's my last day. I went on the Asherman's Facebook page last night and got weepy after reading the posts of the women who were in the midst of struggles with hysteroscopies, asking how many hysteroscopies will it take and when will they get pregnant. It took me back to that horribly uncertain time; the agony and the question mark at the end of all of that. For a person who thrives on requires expected routine and structure, that time of our lives was incredibly difficult and you could say character building for me. I'm OK with the fact I didn't post to this blog during that time; it was so incredibly raw and vulnerable and heartbreaking and too much to share at times. I'm a writer, so this is what I do; not wanting to write tells you how dire it was. I wrote some posts out to chronicle it in some way, but just didn't feel comfortable sharing with the world. Despite everything, I know that I'm lucky. There's no happy ending for some people; that is, a happy ending with a shiny newborn. Tomorrow that day comes for me. And for us.

We have a name, but we'll share tomorrow. My parents are here and have been amazing already; driving to three different Costcos spanning the Bay Area to get us four new tires for the car. We discovered they were in bad shape about two hours before they arrived Monday night, and our Costco membership is in Pete's name (with a former co-worker), so they just got it done. With Lucia. I can't imagine sitting at any store, much less Costco for 2.5 hours with Lucia. Good lord.

Today my mom and I are going to get pedicures, then I hope to re-pack my hospital bag again and get some last-minute things like trail mix for snacks.

I'm getting less and less nervous and more excited. I can't believe the culmination of our efforts that began 2.5 years ago to have a second child is tomorrow. Tomorrow you guys. I'll hold him and smell him and tell him how much he was meant to be and how hard we worked to bring him here. I can't wait.

Comments

  1. Dude. Cue tears. I'm beyond thrilled for you guys! We can hardly wait to meet this guy. Hope you enjoy and relax today.
    xoxo

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  2. I'll be thinking of you, kiddo!
    So very happy and excited you, Pete & Lucia!!

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  3. I'm so excited for you!!! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I can't wait to see pics!!

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  4. Thank you ladies! Can't wait!!!

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  5. My heart is so full with happiness for you!

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  6. I'm so excited for you all! I wish you the best of everything
    and much happiness! Can't wait to see pics!!

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  7. Yay! I. Can. Not. Wait. So happy your family is almost complete. Your journey (I hate that word too) of trials and tribulations helped prepare you for this moment -- physically, mentally and emotionally. You're gonna be great!

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  8. Melissa R.5:10 PM

    Oh! I remember the night before my planned (3rd) c-section! We went out to dinner (alone) and then I slept horribly--had a really, really bad cold and was hoping that the dr wouldn't notice and deny me my planned section--I was prepared to say I had allergies! I reported to the hospital at 6am and at 8:07am my daughter was born! It was the easiest birth I had--recovered nicely...she's going to be 16 at the end of the month. Time flies. Good luck to you!

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