I cancelled my gym membership yesterday. I'm bummed about it. But I haven't been since I sprained my ankle in December. I just couldn't get the mojo back after being continuously sick with one thing then the other, it's been more of a priority to say, get 8 hours of sleep than dead lift.
The inner critic in me is having a field day. She drives me to do better and is what kept me so compliant in Lean Eating. Do more. No excuses, lady. Push harder. Lately though I've started to question her influence, and put it in perspective. Like an audience heckler, I've started to say, ok, I see you have a purpose and you helped me out in the past, and while I'll take your input under consideration, I will choose my own path. My own path is telling me to rest, stay active, and that I will get my mojo back. I love working out, as you know, and for me to not be able to summon the oomph to get there is big. I need to listen to it.
On the practical side, I also cancelled to save money. The gym is fancy, so it's $90 a month. I've been flat-out sticker shocked by infant daycare prices over here, in what's called the East Bay (Oakland, Berkeley, etc. it's East of the SF Bay). In Silicon Valley, where we used to live, we paid $1200 for baby care, and we thought it was a really good deal. At Lucia's former daycare, the British peeps, who we took her to up until a year ago, was $1000 a month for full-time care. Her school is $1200 a month. It seems like everything is a bit more affordable in the East Bay. [The Bay Area cost of living is no freaking joke. I'm growing tired of it.]
So imagine my surprise when I found out that the place we were considering was $1600. AND that 1. it was not in a great neighborhood in Oakland and 2. apparently the lady would take the daycare kids grocery shopping on Fridays (totally illegal, definitely wrong wrong wrong). AND would take the kids to McDonald's. What.
Our daycare provider in Redwood City was the shiz. It was the cleanest, most organized place you've ever seen. Sure the structure was bristling at times, but the place runs like a German train station. And I know -- I am positive -- it was comforting for not only Lucia but for me. We got a full report on what the kid did every single day. Poop, eat, sleep, etc. She was holding a space for baby boy, but after deciding to stay in Oakland, we realized that even if Pete's work schedule wasn't 6-3, we'd have to buy another car so he could take baby boy in. Arghhhh.
I've started the insane process of finding infant care over here and have discovered that $1500 is the basic cost for a small home-based daycare. [We had a super weird experience transitioning Lucia from British peeps to preschool, so we won't be going back there]. I'm going to see a very promising one next week, but have to put down $400 to be on the waiting list. Seriously. Nannies are about $20 an hour, which works out to $3200 a month. Um. A nanny share would be half-that, but frankly, I've only heard nightmare stories about coordinating with another family to do a share, and it just doesn't appeal to me.
What I am saying is that deadlifting and squatting are not really my priorities now, and that's OK. From the books I've read, it will be a while before I'm doing badass workouts post-surgery. And from what I've seen with friends and heard, adjusting from one to two kids is straight-up bananas and I want to focus on keeping my milk supply up, so that will mean the breaks I have at work will be for pumping, not for skipping off to the gym. I can still also focus on good nutrition, meaning more vegetables and less sugar, starchy crap and fruit.
When I am ready to get back into it, I mean hard, because thanks to these rad books, I plan on easing into things gradually, I'm going to pursue some home workout options, i.e. weights and bands and stuff that I can do either when the kids are in bed. I could also just join a cheaper gym and go on my way home. Either way, I'll get back to it when the time is right.