Journaling My Worries
Two negative pregnancy tests, a missed period, hard fundus and an unshakeable feeling that I am indeed pregnant has me very worried that I've got myself a wobbly pregnancy in there, that will not materialize into an actual baby, but will instead create even more heartache and should I have a D&C or should I do misoprostol and I'm a runaway train of worry worry worry. Hand-wringing.
Also, there's a big vote for project funding this week that has a huge impact on my job. Hand-wringing.
One of the most powerful skills I've learned with Lean Eating is to stop the wondering and worrying: focus on what's happening RIGHT NOW. Right this minute. Don't fast forward to what is unknown, just focus on WHAT IS.
I'm trying really, really hard to get there today. To focus on the here and now. TRYING REALLY HARD IN ALL CAPS WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR SURE, RIGHT? So here I am typing it out.
What I do know today:
- I do not currently have my period.
- I DO have tons of work today, and in fact will be writing this huge document today, tackling it section by section.
- I am running intervals today, 4 of them, 20s on, 20s recovery. And I'm foam rolling, as my back/hamstrings are very sore.
- I'm making an awesome dinner (grass-fed beef marinara over zucchini ribbons)
- We're putting together our new bed tonight.
Putting this up so I can obsessively go back and review these bullets and focus on what I know today. What's here, now and not tomorrow.