My Sheer Hatred of Group Exercise

I basically signed up for the Self Magazine Workout in the Park for the sole purpose of seeing Dolvett. I kinda forgot and didn't process the part about working out in groups. I invited my former running partner; we used to run with the local Road Runners affiliate in SF and always met at Marina Green on Saturday mornings (that's near where this event was), so it was mostly nostalgia and lust admiration for Dolvett that had me all jacked. We arrive, register and then have to wait in line for an hour. These totally awesome chicks come over and pump Rihanna super loud and get us warmed up, and immediately I'm all I HAVE TO BE THE VALEDICTORIAN. God. I annoy the hell out of myself sometimes. I back off, and remind myself HEY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO JUST HAVE FUN TODAY, and try to do that. We finally get to go in, and the first sign up activity I see is a CrossFit demonstration! FUN!! I've been wanting to try CrossFit when I'm done with Lean Eating. This will be perfect! It's just 20 minutes. I watch the group and it looks hard but doable. I'm in great shape, so I'll be fine. We sign up then beeline to the Lunabar tent and get some samples of their protein bars (gluten free!) and Pop Chips, which bee tee dubs? Taste like sugared styrofoam. My friend and I did a fist bump to the notion of just having regular old-fashioned potato chips *once in a while* rather than trying to eat that crap. I gobble down my mini Luna protein bar, which wasn't particularly delicious or horrible, but somewhere in between, and visit the other tents while waiting for our CrossFit class to start. The Moving Comfort tent had the most amazballs shirts and headbands, but as someone who refuses to pay full price on a Target C9 shirt, I almost fainted over those prices. (Pants are a different story, as we have discusssed). Then we do some "sexy warmup" class which is really just group aerobics for uh, strippers, say, with lots of hip movements, and whatever. We loudly lament our hatred of aerobics classes. 


And it's time for CrossFit. We divvy up into groups. The instructor introduces himself and I said, I've been wanting to try this, so I'm excited. He asks where I live, and says CrossFit Oakland is an awesome affiliate. Already, he's lost me, since CrossFit in Oakland is called CrossFit EastBay. I decide right then he's not credible and I don't like him. He's like, "I need you guys to give me 7 minutes of your life. Is that too much to ask? Just 7 minutes. This is going to make you feel fantastic." He reminds me of Tony Robbins. He's making me stabby. We do a warm up of high-kicker/butt-kicker runs and walking squats, and then we "learn" (insert eyeroll) three new moves: squats, burpees with a jump, and pushups. Girl, please. Thanks for the instructional on the squat, for the love of God. They count down and there's lots of INSPIRATIONAL YOU GOT THIS TYPE OF JAZZ-HANDING. The goal is to do 7 of each, as fast as we can with perfect form. my friend and I make it through the first round and have started our second, when she looks at me and says, it's a shame we're kinda penned in here, yes? I said, nope, we can just hop the rope and get outta here. We nod and agree. Rope hopped, we reach over the short fence to get our stuff and we're out.


Five minutes later I met Dolvett, so if we hadn't left, that wouldn't have happened. Someone on Facebook asked me if Dolvett kicked our asses, and I realized then that oh, we left before that! My (and thankfully, my friend's) shared hatred of group classes led us to leave the event before then. I'm a wee sad in hindsight, but here's the YouTube video I can watch at home (which, by the way, is set to my top 5 favorite workout songs EVAH). 


Afterwards we ditched our stuff at my car and went for an interval run, like old times. In Fort Mason. Which, with the weather clear and sunny and around 70 degrees, was just about the most blissful way to spend Saturday morning. 


So I'm not a fan of CrossFit. I will not be trying it after I'm done with Lean Eating. I kinda laughed at myself, for not realizing that I was going to a gigantic group workout event and would have to youknow, work out with people? But I give myself credit for trying something and realizing what I do and don't like. I don't like working out with people. I love and am fantastic at pushing myself all on my own. 



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