The Specialist

Today was the long-awaited appointment with the Fertility Specialist, who is also a Reproductive Endocrinologist, hereafter referred to as the RE. I suspect it's the reason I've been wracked with anxiety and projecting it onto my innocent fitness plans, and then back onto myself to render myself AT CAPACITY. What I am saying is I was nervous, y'all. Nervous beyond nervous. 

I've been trying to ask myself, what's the worst thing that will happen: that they find everything or nothing wrong? And I couldn't come up with an answer. It was a lot like this scene from my absolute favorite movie. 

So anyway. I make the mistake of deciding to take the bus instead of the subway, because it gets me closer  (kinda) to the doctor's office than the subway. Friends, for half the cost of the subway, you get double the ghetto and double the time it takes to get there, pee smell no extra charge. It took me 25 minutes to go 2 miles. SHEESH. So I'm all Frazzly McSkeeved when I arrive. I find the office, register, and sit down. The woman across from me has the same phone cover as me WHICH OBVIOUSLY MEANS we are both reproductively-challenged and therefore BFFs and therefore I'm not alone. OMG!

Sigh. Deep breath. You're not alone, little friend. You've got yourself to handle this, and you've got God and little buddy it's going to be Ok. Deep breath. Deep breath. 

Then Lucia and Pete arrived and Lucia announced she had to go PODDY immediately, so I was thankfully distracted. 

SO the doctor. I know, I'm getting to it! She came in, introduced herself, and said, I'm going to ask you a ton of questions. Here we go. After about 20 minutes of that, with more than a few centered around my nightmare C-section and infection and Mirena and Paraguard (oh memories!), we moved onto the um, extensive testing. She said she didn't want to overwhelm me, to which I said NO LADY BRING IT. So we're doing an HSG, a Hysteroscopy, and a zillion panels of bloodwork. Side note:  I brought my bloodwork and test results from the homeopath (which: iodine test back and I excreted only 87%, so that means a slight deficiency. I'm talking with him Monday for the full scoop) just as an FYI not as a BUT MY HOMEOPATH SAYZZZZZZZ. Because that would be annoying.

She said she wanted to rule out uterine scarring from the c-section infection. I've never thought of this even being a possibility and frankly, it terrifies me. But I have to remember that these tests are STANDARD she runs them on everyone who comes in and we're RULING IT OUT. I'm vowing to not Google and self-diagnose myself with the latest treatment to remove scar tissue for only $9.99!!! 

THEN. We did an ultrasound to see where I was in my cycle. I had no idea she could do this, but apparently she can. She looked at my ovaries and took measurements of my follicles (read: eggs that are hanging out ready to rock) and said it looked like I would be ovulating in 4 days, and would have my period 14 days after that. So weird that she could predict it, but whatevs. It also made me kinda sad to think of a perfectly good egg just hanging out there, waiting for some love. But she reiterated that if I get pregnant now, she won't be able to see what's up. And I also know if I were to get pregnant now, it would be like the saddest thing ever because we would just be waiting for me to miscarry. So. Pete has been ordered to stay away from me. :)

The HSG and other thing will be done the week after my period, likely 4-5 weeks from now. I get valium (whee!) and an antibiotic each time. I expect them to be just as painful as other uterine procedures. 

I'm really relieved and hopeful. I like that she didn't give me any definitive direction so I can't get on the crazy train. But she did, through the extensive testing ordered, that something is in fact wrong and that we'll work to figure it out. Which is all I can really ask for. 


  1. It sounds like she is on the ball!! Great that she's so aggressive in her search for answers and that you are willing to let her do what she needs to do.

    I'm so glad you haven't googled. Stay. away. from. google. He's a bastard and only tells you bad things.

  2. If there is anything I've learned going through medical stuff with my husband, it's BACK OFF DR GOOGLE. He lies and tells very scary stories that turn out to be WRONG.
    Glad you found a good doctor! I am hopeful things will work out for you very soon!

  3. Sound very promising! Thinking of you.

  4. Parker9:27 AM

    I am so psyched for you!! It does sound promising, and how wonderful to have a true expert on your side and taking care of you!!

  5. Thanks peeps! Greatly appreciate the pom-pom waving. I'm calming down and realizing it's OK to be a little scared -- this is a big deal after all. So we'll see what happens!

  6. Lauren12:57 PM

    Lovey loves! Just read this. You are amazing mama. Amazing. Keep up the positivity, and def keep reminding yourself it's okay to be a little (or even a lot scared). I've got your back friend. Also, please remember to ask for the support you need - even if it's just sending up a little white flag. Hugs to you.


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