The Ugly Cry
I'm not pregnant.
I did the ugly cry and felt sorry for myself. I was fortunate enough to discovered this news seconds before entering my therapist's comfy quarters, so I literally burst into tears before I even sat down. It was all kinds of awesome. I went to the dark and twisty places. Then over the course of the hour something happened and a louder, more confident me was saying SNAP OUT OF IT. Get over yourself!! (And not in a judgy way, in a funny way). So I'm not pregnant! We weren't really trying this month, so ok then! It helped that I spent the week praying about it and telling myself over and over that it was going to be OK if I got my period. And it is. It's OK. But I'm still glad I took the time to cry.
I can tell you with certainty that this past month felt 500x easier and better for me than the crazy days of peeing on a stick. Or taking my temp. As I've previously established with dieting and exercise, when I obsess about something I throw my entire being into it, thereby smothering it. Nothing good ever comes of it. I have a hardcore Fertility Monitor that I can use if I feel the need. I just really enjoyed this past month more.
To that end, Pete and I have agreed to not count days this month, enjoy each other more, and just see what happens. Please don't comment about how that's what you did and it totally worked. I know you mean well, but I just need pom-pom waving.