Smug Smackdown

Yep, it happened. I thought it might. After I posted about how effing evolved I was with my whole being done with dieting thing, I decided that it would be perfectly fine to have butter, sugar and all those other things that I know make me feel really sick. Each time, my instincts would kick in and say, Are you sure this is a good idea?

Smug Uber Evolved Heather would answer YEP. It's totally FINE. I got this.

I hate you, Smug Uber Evolved Heather. For today I spent the better part of the morning clutching my stomach, nearly crying in the bathroom and generally cursing myself and wanting desperately to rewind the past 24 hours of eating. It's not like I ate a whole pizza or anything. I had 2 petite Starbucks treats, creamy polenta which I'm pretty sure had heavy cream in it, as my stomach grew exponentially after ingesting it and a small slice of cheeseless pizza. And maybe some of Lucia's pizza crusts.

In my defense? I got my period yesterday. I was secretly hoping I was going to be like that one woman on the Interwebs who didn't test positive for pregnancy until a week after her period was late. Because dude, I totally felt pregnant. Which I realize now was just a reaction to Garbage Eating Weekend. But at any rate, I DESERVED TREATS.

I keep forgetting -- well actually that's not true at all -- I keep letting Smug Uber Evolved Heather decide to ignore what I know to be true: the carbs and sugar not only make me chubs, they aggravate my anxiety, mood, etc. like nobody's biz.

The only treats I should have splurged on yesterday were extra love and kindness towards myself, not in the form of food. Hugs. Walks. Hot showers. Snuggly jammies. Instead I feel like I got kicked in the stomach plus an express trip to CrazyTown.

Comments

  1. Its part of change- it is hard to change and relape is part of it- you are doing great with food and changing yourself. I am sorry you are sad

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment