Do Something That Scares You: Be Disliked

Yep. You know I'm a people pleaser. It's how I roll. If I get even the slightest hint that someone may not ADORE me, I launch into this tap-dancing routine of sorts: WITTY BANTER! SELF-DEPRECATING JOKES! ACT SYMPATHETIC YET NOT HALLMARKY.

It's kinda hilarious to watch. It's extremely exhausting and afterwards I'm always left thinking, what just happened? How did I just leave my body and let that other person take over.

Sigh.

But recently, I found out someone doesn't like me. THE NERVE. Don't they see how hard I try?

I noticed that each time I was around them, I sensed that they didn't like me so I turned into Jazz Hands Heather.

And then I found out they STILL don't like me.

Harumpfh!

My first instinct: WTF?? WHY DOESN'T SHE LIKE ME??

Second: call my BFF and run through the story for sanity check.

Third: Think about calling said person and taking them out for a glass of wine and saying, look, let's discuss why you don't like me and what's the rub. What can I do to make you like me?

Fourth: Oh eff it. Most people that know me really like me. I'm a likeable person. Maybe too likeable, I'll give you that, but let's just consider the averages that 9 out of 10 people like me.

So I'm just going to live with the thought that at least one person in this world does not like me. Cue violin sound.

I make light of it, but this is really huge. Knowing that someone does not like me and even more -- not doing anything about it is really huge. I can live with uncomfortable feelings just fine. Oh yes I can.

Comments

  1. This: I sensed that they didn't like me so I turned into Jazz Hands Heather and this: What can I do to make you like me? made me smile. I do totally get it. I know you are making light of it, but it is still hard. Usually when someone seems to not like someone is it usually because of something going on with that person and not the person being 'not liked'. Does that make sense?

    You are totally likeable and adorable. Perhaps she is not quite as adorable as you are?

    Sadly, speaking from experience, I remember not liking a particular mom--behind her back, she had no idea, I think--because I just thought this woman was so together and had it all and I felt inferior. Turns out she may have looked like she had it all together, but she was floundering just like me...just in a bigger, beautiful house and with fancy vacations;). I knew that it really was something about myself that I didn't like and not really that woman.

    Anyway, keep on doing stuff that scares you!!!

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  2. Julie, you are the BEST. You always know just the right thing to say. I hope you are doing great. HUGS HUGS HUGS.

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  3. I can't really imagine anyone not liking you - but in any case, I do. Not only do I like you for you, but I like you for writing about this. It couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I have a friend who has suddenly stopped liking me, and I am trying (desperately) to learn that it's OK for me to NOT do anything about it. So hard to sit with - but so necessary, I think. It gets exhausting to try to bend myself in all sorts of directions to please all sorts of people. I think I lose some authenticity each time I do - and that is NOT at all what I want to sacrifice...my me-ness.

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  4. Thanks Chica. Hugs back at you:)

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