This Week's Fitness Challenges: A Story of Can'ts and Mean Girls
I told my trainer twice tonight that I couldn't do something because I felt fat doing it. Running on the track and pilates. Running on the track becuase I'm terrified people will be like DUDE she is running so slow! Or like a fat kid! Whoa! I've never tried pilates because I'm scared people will say, um yeah, like pilates is what you need, chubsters.
Man I'm mean. I am the ultimate Mean Girl. Rather than ruminate on when this type of thought pattern began and why god why and let's think about it some more, we're moving on to changing. This week's challenge -- correction -- every day I try to -- do something that scares me, but this week's is in the form of people might think I'm fat.
I'm working up to running on the track, but currently making a million excuses for why I can't. I'm working with my kickass trainer like everyday this week (he's charging me a fraction of what he should be I LOVE THIS MAN) so I may have him get me on the track one day. Ok, scratch that. After I write this I'll email him and tell him I know what I said but I also know that this chick needs to stop thinking like a Fat Girl ahem, Immediately. So we'll get on the track one day this week. I'll likely pass lots of gas (sexy!) and will be turtle slow. But it doesn't matter. Everyday, my goal is to reach outside my comfort zone.
I'm also going back to hip hop dance class on Saturday. In my head I'm a professional dancer and while it's unfortunate the rest of me hasn't caught up, but man that class if fun anyway. I love the music and someday I'll be a hip hop dancer. Or not. The goal is to stretch my imagination and comfort zone.