Meh. Here's the update for Tuesday.

Operation Hot mama is on hold due to the fact I am GAINING weight. I don't know what the hell is going on. I counted calories religiously for a week and my weight went UP. I'm very discouraged and that discouragement has led me to eat things like the fantastic peach cobbler my gourmet chef next door neighbors cooked for us. Damn it was good, but man I felt really guilty afterwards. I'm considering my options, which including saying eff it for now and focusing on other more pressing matters like healing this freaking incision and getting my milk supply back up.

Still in breastfeeding HELL. Although I found an online support group of other moms who pump milk exclusively and it's been helpful. We all agree this is sheer hell. She refuses the breast STILL. We did have one day where she nursed for a whole 15 minutes. Then the next day nada, no interest. I tried dropping a few pumpings and my supply went down um a LOT. So I experimented all weekend with more pumpings of various times and can tell you for sure, that eight pumpings a day is the quickest route to insanity. We're going to the lactation consultant again today. 

Diabetes = gone! I got the blood test results yesterday. Phew and double phew. 

Incision = still not healing properly. Pete's graduated to a whole new level of wound care, complete with saline irrigation and wider packing tape. The nurses suggested eating more protein, so I'm gonna try that. 

My parents are coming for Thanksgiving, and really to help out some more. Hallelujah. Seriously. 

In hair news, I've figured out if I shower at night, then apply gel and go to bed with wetish hair, I don't have clown head in the morning. Which is a good thing, given I don't get to actually shower until the day is long gone. 


  1. Yup, good idea to concentrate on healing the incision and getting the whole breast feeding thing on track. I know you feel bad about how much weight you've gained and probably feel like you don't recognize your body (that's how I felt), but you will get the weight off. It is so tiring right now caring for a newborn and you have a couple of extra issues to deal with.

    Hurray that your parents are coming!!!!

    That totally bites that you have to pump exclusively. I hated pumping...I actually could never produce any an ounce if I was lucky. It really was so much easier to just breastfeed the little guy. You are good mom to keep trying. I know other moms who would have given up (and did.)

    I had more to say, but my little guy just called for his momma...he wants to snuggle on the couch with me:)

  2. Thanks Julie! What would I do without you? I really, really appreciate your comments. I do NOT feel like myself at all when it comes to my body. I feel absolutely disgusting. Last night Pete told me how much he weighed, and it's 3 lbs lighter than me and I cursed at him and then told him I hated him (with a laugh). He hugged me and reminded me that this was temporary.

    Posting now with update from lactation consultant...

  3. "which including saying eff it for now and focusing on other more pressing matters like healing this freaking incision and getting my milk supply back up."

    You've got so much going on right now. Exclusive pumping plus the trouble with the incision is SOOO much to deal with right now (newborns are hard enough when everything is smooth sailing.)

    and ditto to Julie. I remember looking at my body wondering if I would ever just look normal. Forget skinny. I'd take proportionate!
    Things will get easier and you'll find more strength and energy to focus on weight loss.

    And thank goodness that diabetes is gone. PHEW! I've been holding my breath for you on that one!

  4. I gained after I had Ruby. And I did lose all that weight and I didn't start trying until she was 9 months old. Also I didn't start calorie counting until Baby was 8 weeks old. So take it easy. It just isn't that important and you can always lose weight later. You can't heal your incision later or pump later. You need to do what you need to do. Letting that go for now isn't the same as giving up or being fat forever. Babies get much easier in a few months. Hang in there.

  5. So so so so so so happy the Diabetes is gone!!!!!!!! Yeahhhhhhhhhh

    I'm sure it takes time for your body to get back to its normal self again. Don't be too hard on yourself. You just created a human for Pete's sake (ha ha - get it? Pete's sake??)


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