One Year Ago Today...

I stood on the freezing cold and foggy beach of San Francisco, very near the Golden Gate Bridge, and vowed to love Pete and stand by him through thick and thin, til death do us part. It was absolutely terrifying but exhilarating at the same time. Pete had been so sick, but he said his vows with absolute conviction and confidence, it made me bawl.

I had no idea what I was in for. A year ago I remember talking to my married friend Joe, who said that the little things that annoy me will stop being annoying as much; that Pete will wear me down. He was right. It was SO terrifying back then, because every fight felt like, IS THIS A SIGN THAT WE MADE A MISTAKE? It felt so very fragile. And like I said, Pete was absolutely so certain that everything was going to be fine, and that the fighting, negotiating of boundaries, etc. was completely normal -- it was me that was a wreck (of course!!).

I've learned SO much about myself in the past year; how to ask for what I want, how to communicate (more) effectively, how the nasty self-critical can so very easily be projected onto him if I'm not careful, how to pick my battles, how to listen, how to give tough love, how to give space, and basically, how to love. It's been a 365-day course in love. Pete doesn't read this often, but in case he is, thank you for your confidence in us, and for loving me.

Comments

  1. beautiful post describing a beautiful marriage. Congrats!

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