The Plan This Week

I'm happy to report that we've backed out of plans to go to Tahoe for Thanksgiving. This means a saving of 10 hours driving time, lots of $ spent on food, booze and general fun-ness, and most importantly, I gain my precious workout space. So we're planning on having a

You know what? Stop. I'm having a terrible, terrible night. Pete and I had one of those fights that everyone who's recently married talks about; I know it's normal and whatever, but it's absolutely terrifying at the time. We can't seem to reach each other, and we both seem to be horrid at communicating (although I've worked really, really hard on getting better at this). We're having trouble finding common ground and remembering that we are not each other's enemy. I say this from my experience; I have no idea what's going on with him, other than it's apparent that all rationality has left his brain. Insults were traded. There was yelling and slamming doors. It was very dramatic.

So no, I'm not going to write some super sunny post about how I'm excited to make Thanksgiving dinner here and all that. I'm wondering if we'll be speaking by then.

That is the update. I'm keepin it real, people.


  1. you are very real and i like that. these fights are inevitable, anyone who says 'we never fight' is either lying or deluding themself! remember 'this too shall pass' and as for communication skills in marriage, they do get better with practice, ask me i've been married 3 times, twice to the same man-idiot!

  2. Anonymous7:26 AM

    Must be in the air - hubby and I had a nasty little weekend too. Wonder if it has something to do with the approaching holidays?

  3. It's true, couples who don't fight are not being honest with each other on some level.. or they just don't care enough to actually bring any issues up.

    If I had to make a choice between lying, indifference and fighting, I'll take fighting.

  4. word. They don't call us the Furious Family for nothin'! I always think getting the issues out there are worth the upset at the time... it is the only way to effect change... even if it is hard to say and hard to hear.
    holidays are stressful. period. especially when trying to form a "new family".. added pressure to make this a "great 1st t'day, xmas, what have you" Hell I still do this to myself and I've been married for quite some time now.
    also keep in mind moving (potential or not), job (change, Peter actually getting one), and wanting to start a family... HUGE stressors that can bring the best of marriages to their knees and you are taking on all three at the freaking Holidays.
    simplify, simplify, simplify and lower your expectations. seriously. If at all possible make a dinner reservation at a nice restaurant for t-day. Yes you could go all out and try to make the best of it, but if you were me you'd also be throwing a major tantrum and resenting all the work you were doing and kind of hating yourself at the same time. You've got to let some thing go... start with dinner.

  5. Thanks all. The treadmill will bear the brunt of my fury this evening.

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  7. Um thanks cresenet. An English translation would be really helpful. Thanks!

  8. Holiday time = stress time, it's true. When your beloved betrothed says "do what you want, and deal with the concequences" after you ask for advice navigating the landmine-strewn beach with barbed wire and barking dogs that shoot bees from their mouths when they bark that is spending holiday time with his family it can be hard to remember to be kind to one another.

  9. Oh man. Fighting sucks. I know this for a fact. I'd hug you if I could, because there's not much worse. I hate fighting :(


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