Negative Self Talk HELL


Here I am. In Negative Self Talk HELL. I tracked my calories yesterday, as I've tried to do at least 4 days a week lately. I ate all clean foods and got in protein with every "meal." I totalled 1400 something around 8 p.m., and then proceeded to have another 200 calories, for some reason.

and then the internal boxing game began. These are the boxers in my head:
Boxer A: fat, out of shape, hopelessly negative
Boxer B: optimistic, gaining muscle every day, dedicated and disciplined.

Boxer A starts pummeling Boxer B. By pummeling I mean beating the living cr@p out of Boxer B.

Why did you have another 200 calories? Why? You should have stopped. You have no self control. You really should have stopped at 1400. Or better, 1200. You're never going to get to where you're going if you don't cut back. You're hopeless. You're treading water, at best. Your'e never going to get to your goals.

Boxer B tried in vain to defend herself:

But you chose all clean foods! You didn't have a diet coke, despite really really really really wanting one. You warmed up on the bike despite your foot being all wacked and you being worried about it, and then pushed really really hard on your weights workout -- on each set! You probably burned 200 calories lifting alone, and burned through the evening. You ate most of your high-calorie food during the day, which is good because that's when you're burning. It's ok. EVEN if you went over, you can make it up today by cutting back a little bit.

Pete asked me how I was doing, he said I seemed a little down. I told him I was having a hard time not beating myself up for the scale's results (no I haven't posted the picture, because my weight was up).

I'm not sure how to get myself out of this, so any and all advice is appreciated. This is truly the area where I need to work on the most.

Comments