My Latest Diet Craze

NO, it's not that wacky diet I talked to some of you about last week -- the Shangri-La Diet, which I still swear totally works if you can stomach drinking oil 2 times a day, and the various lovely GI side effects. It totally zaps your appetite.

No friends, this diet is called the Invisalign diet. Here's how it works: shell out an obscene amount of cash for Invisalign "braces" which shouldn't be called braces -- they're officially called "aligners." Anyway, get those fitted over your teeth incredibly tight. Then, each time you eat or drink anything other than water (this means YOU Diet Coke), you have to pry them off, which is so difficult and painful I'm confident each time that I do it I'm going to rip the aligner or rip out my teeth. By the time you get them off, you've lost all desire to eat -- and here's the best part -- your teeth hurt too much to bit into anything. I mean, a tuna sandwich hurts. THEN, you get to brush your teeth, brush the aligners, and put them back in, which hurts just as much as taking them out. I bought a cookie to enjoy in the afternoon yesterday, and we all know how much I enjoy the cookies, and I HAD TO GIVE IT AWAY. That's right. There's no way I was going to go through that process for a freaking cookie.

Comments

  1. OH NO! I love to eat... I would HATE that diet! Good luck!

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  2. I know what you mean. Within weeks of wearing my aligners, my dentist said I had lost weight. The thing about these aligners is that while it's a lot more convenient than metal braces, it still discourages you to eat. I find that after brushing your teeth and putting your aligners on you want to keep them clean for a while. If I feel like snacking, I have to think twice now. Who wants to have bits & pieces of food stuck between their teeth and captured and displayed by your plastic see-through aligners! Hey, is that broccoli?

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  3. Thanks Dexter! I'm glad I have them, uh, kinda. I'm getting used to them, I suppose. And I've added more protein to my meals so I'm not famished in between. :)

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  4. Brigs2:47 PM

    Haha I know what you guys mean! Me and my fiance got them right before christmas, and it's the same thing with us. No way in hell will I torture myself by taking them on and off for a friggin snack, haha! So now I just eat at mealtimes when I have to, and no in-between snacking.

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  5. It's nearly impossible to do when I'm eating 6 meals a day... ay yi yi~!

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